Down To Folk
Down To Folk

Season 1, Episode 1 · 1 year ago

Along Came A Spider

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

From the beginnings of a humble farmer to the humble beginnings of Samuel Clemens.  This is Down To Folk. 

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About UsWhat happens when you take three people,  put them inside a Secret Government Agency and give them access to the largest collection of folklore, fairytales, and legends that have (n)ever existed? 

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**Down to Folk is a work of comedy fiction.  The views and opinions related within should be taken as such, and are not the views and opinions of the creators, writers, or performers.  No children were harmed while creating this podcast, although, a few deaths have occurred, but that 'twas the Wendigo I reckon.**  

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Good evening, Ladies and gentlemen, and the rest of you. Allow me to welcome you all to the premiere episode of down to folk. I am Lloyd Warrington, the chief engineer of masque. Masque is the Ministry of augmented something, something and a k. It is a multinational science group specializing in something and the archiving of something else. In this episode, you will be taken to the State of Montana to hear the story of a humble farmer's family and their encounter with a spider. Our story may involve some adult THEMATICA elements, so if you are listening with children, that's on you. Now, sit back, relax and enjoy the show. Back in them before times of...

...the long, long ago, there is a humble farmer who owned a humble farm. He had a humble wife and a humble daughter, whom he named Frand frowned with gentle and kind and loved animals of all sorts. She would sing to the horses, who would stamp their hoofs almost dance like. She would cool at the barn cats, who would bring her dead mice and appreciation. She napped with the sheep dog, who would lick her face and nuzzle. She would twirl among the birds, who would chirp their sweet songs and never shot upon her. One day her father came home from market with a new animal to add to the Menagerie, a humble piglet. FROND was delighted. She whisked the pig up out of the cart and whirled him around as he almost seemed to smile, squealing what a precious little fellow, she cried...

...happily. Her father removed his cap and told her, I'm glad you like him. Make sure he feels at all my frond. FROND got the little guy settled into a nice little hay bed in the barn and kissed his head before she headed inside to sleep herself. I'll call you wilmer, she whispered. As the weeks went by, the piglet grew and grew and, though not the most impressive pig, he was humble after all. He was certainly sweet and affectionate. Frond was especially partial to him, spending a great deal of lazy afternoons telling Him Stories. But one day her father approached the barn and told frond the following day he was taking the pig to market with him. FROND looked alarmed. Whatever. For Papa, she asked, he needs to be butchered so we can sell the meat? He replied no, Papa,...

...she cried, but that was the end of it. No discussion would change his humble mind. Wilmer was distraught. He didn't know what a butcher was, but frond certainly didn't seem happy about it. And then he heard a tiny little voice. Wilma, Wilma, over here. The confused pig turned every which way, happier, silly, there was a small spider hanging from her web. Who, who are you, Wilma asked. You can call me Charlotte. Charlotta, he cautiously started. What's butchering? Oh dear, I heard that it's where they lead you to a place away from the other animals, slit in your throat, dismember your body, set it on fire and then eat it. WILMA looked horrified. Oh No, Charlotte,...

...what am I going to do? Charlotte Waked. Don't wait, Wilmur, I'm going to hoop, and she crawled back up to her humble well, up and began to loop and dance. When the rooster crowed and the sun began to rise, there was a web glittering in the light. As the farmer and frond approached, they realized something was written in the web. Papa, does that? Does that say? Got To bring us to get hands? The farmer swallowed. He didn't like the sound of that. Maybe he began slowly. Maybe today's not the day to take wilmer to market. We'll try again tomorrow. Wilmer was relieved but knew his time was still limited. But the following morning, as the sun rose, once again a web glittered in the light. The farmer approached with Frond, who then asked, Papa,...

...does that? Does that say blood and blood out? The farmer, visibly sweating, began slowly. Maybe, maybe today's not the day to take Wilmur to market. We'll try again tomorrow. Wilmer was relieved but still knew he was unborrowed time. But the following morning, in the first rays of Sun, once again a Web glittered in the light. As the farmer and frond approached, they realized something was written in the web. Papa, does that? Does that say? TRUST NO BITCH? But the humble farmer was tired of the ruse. It was just a spider. A spider with a nasty attitude. He loaded wilmer up in his cart and rode away to market, as fron wept onto his little hay bed. When the farmer returned its sundown, wilmer was not with him. He's been butchered, he responded when...

Fron asked, Oh, I hate you, I hate you, hate you until I die. And with that the child fled to the barn where she cried herself to sleep. But Charlotte was no ordinary spider. She took pity on the girl and decided to teach the farmer a lesson. She crawled to the very top of the barn and sang out in her tinkling voice. Hello, are you out there? And Precious Child's heart is broken, as her best friend's body was turned into meet today. Can you help? The wind began to whip in the skies and the trees rustled. A screech was heard, so terrifying all the animals. Coward charlot remained fearless and didn't move from her high perch. She merely took one of her eight legs and pointed to the Farm House. In the morning, when the farmer had not shown up...

...to market, neighbors called on the family and found frond asleep on the barn floor. Entering the House and calling out, they found nothing but the skeleton of the humble farmer and his wife lying in what looked like a blood bath. It was the Windigo, I reckon, said a slightly less humble farmer. Everyone nodded and shuffled out of the House. They went to find the young frond to tell her she was now an orphan, but the child had disappeared. At least that's what they thought, but I'll tell you what really happened. You See, I was telling the truth when I said Charlot was no ordinary spider. Ordinary spiders don't write words and Webs. After all, she was radioactive and a practicing sorceress spider. That's how she summoned the WINDIGO and helped frond to escape. She had bitten her, giving her special powers.

When the neighbors had entered the barn, she was adhered to the rafters like a spider and they all lived happily ever after. See, that wasn't so terrible after all. Congratulations, you have survived the first half of episode one. Thank you, Ariel, for that highly accurate and original tale. We will now join Chad at the community fire pit for this week's camp fire story. Now, while Ariel's story takes place in the outskirts of Pew to, Montana, the continuation actually happens seventy five miles south in the Gold Rush...

Mecca of Virginia City, Montana. It was around this time that a young journalist was working at the territorial enterprise, local paper, by the name of Samuel Langhorne clements. Now Sam was got a lot of recognition. He and his brother traveled from Missouri to the West. They did part ways in South Lake City, UTAH. Sam would go north old sly ending up in Virginia City, Montana, and his brother, I remember who what. His brother's name is Buck Oh. His brother went to Nevada, continued west to Nevada. While Sam was in Virginia City working at the newspaper, he was dabbling...

...in other writing. Not content with being a journalist, he wanted something more from his writing. So he had written a short story, funny story, called the celebrated jumping frog of Calavaris County, and people just loved this frog story that he had written and and he would go down the street and everybody's like Hey, frog boy, what's up? And he's we got it with the frog already. It was his one regret that he had in life. When the events happened up at up near Butte, Montana, the story made its way down into Virginia City and people came up to him and said Hey, did you hear that crazy story about the winding go up and beat? You should were totally write a story about it. And he's like, we got it with the animal stories and and he he wouldn't even entertain it. He wouldn't even write about it in the paper because he just knew people were...

...going to try and get him to write a story about a spider that writes words in the web and he just said there's nothing to that. And so he he he sent a telegram to a good friend of his who was due to come out and visit, and it was a good friend of his, elwen, was coming out to visit soon from New York and and Sam was like hey, Elwen, you like writing about animals, come on out here, I got this story that you can write. You can write, you could write a book about it if you feel like it. It's right up your alley. It's got like, you know, a pig talking to a spider writing words and it's web. I don't know, maybe tried out. So Edwin Brooks comes out to Virginia City and he sits down with the with...

Sam and he's like yeah, man, this totally a story. I could totally could do this and like dope, go ahead start writing it. So he goes back to New York and he starts writing and he wrote his version of the story. He pretty much stripped all of the elements out except for a spider that could write words in his web. But it's cool. And Sam just could not get away from that jumping frog story. So he changed his name. Changed his name to mark and wrote about little boys and Indians and black people. But it okay. Mark's books were problematic. It's cool. It was a different day and different age. He did okay for himself. Ed when he did good too. He wrote his little animal book about a talking spider. I I don't really don't know what was about, but mark, I guess, went on to write a lot of books about young...

...boys and their high chinks and Shenanigan's and then he died catching a ride in the tail of Haley's comment, paving the way for Heaven's gate years later. Mark Twain, author, Legend cult leader. Thank you for listening to down to folk. All one hundred percent accurate and original. Main story was written and performed by aerial cooksie of the malice podcast. Our Campfire story this week was performed by Chad Brock Breida, who couldn't be bothered by writing a script. If you must, you can find chat on the perfect package podcast. For additional stories and content, visit DT F storiescom or a DTF stories across all social media. Down to folk is a production of Masque, the Ministry...

...of augmented something, something and a k distribution is provided by the pod fix network, which can be found at www dot pod fix networkcom. And don't forget, if you are DTF, visit the down to folk patreon at patreoncom slash DTF stories for exclusive content and live simulation events. See, nothing has changed, Mandela, you've been listening to a podcast of the pod fix network. Discover more audible gems like this at pod fix networkcom. Make sure to catch up to the minute networks and Aigan's by following at pod fix on twitter. Official Underscore pod fix on Instagram, at pod fix network on Facebook, and make sure to subscribe to pod fix presents, wherever you choose to find...

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