Down To Folk
Down To Folk

Season 1, Episode 2 · 1 year ago

VIP Bonus - The Way It Was

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Chad's selling something...and let's you hear what the show was originally going to sound like. 

Enjoy this special bonus episode that one of our interns pulled out of the dumpsters behind HQ, that (until now) was only available to our VIP supporters.  

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Creators: 

Producer/Editor/Engineer: Dick CabezaIntern: Dana The Intern 

Distribution:The PodFix Network 

About UsWhat happens when you take three people,  put them inside a Secret Government Agency and give them access to the largest collection of folklore, fairytales, and legends that have (n)ever existed? 

Down To Folk is manufactured by M.A.S.S.K. The Ministry of Augmented Something Something, and a K. 

**Down to Folk is a work of comedy fiction.  The views and opinions related within should be taken as such, and are not the views and opinions of the creators, writers, or performers.  No children were harmed while creating this podcast, although, a few deaths have occurred, but that 'twas the Wendigo I reckon.**  

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Hello there, I'm Chad. If you couldn't figure that out, I'm here with a very special bonus episode to perhaps Pique your interest in joining the down to folk patreon. We have four levels to our patreon. It breaks down like this. Tier One, this is for our super fans. Three dollars a month. You get access to bonus episodes just like this one, and we have a ton more planned in the near future. In addition, you also get a shout out in an episode from Mr Lloyd Warrington Himself, so that's kind of cool. Tier too, plain and simple. Tier Two tells the world that you are DTF and you get the bonus episodes and you get the shout out. You also get early access to episodes before they hit the main feed and you get a personalized message from Lloyd to and the highlight of this tier, if you stick around for three months, you get an exclusive sticker. How exclusive, Ariel and I don't even have these. There that exclusive tier three ten bucks a month. It's our mask all access pass. You get the bonus, you get the shout out, early access, personalized message from Lloyd, invites to monthly live events. It's like a hang out, like a mini live show. You also get an additional personalized message from Lloyd that you get to write the script for. He probably won't follow it, but you get one. Oh, and after three months you still get...

...the sticker and you also get a coffee Mug, all exclusive. Now, last but not least, is tier four. This is the big dog tier. This is the official DTF fan club. You get everything from all access. Now, granted, you're going to miss out on the sticker in the coffee Mug, but tier four thirty dollars a month. This is the gift that keeps on giving. For the first year at this tier you get a new piece of exclusive merch every three months. After three months you're going to get a poster, six months you get a t shirt, nine months you get a toat bag, and after one year of continued support, you're going to score yourself a Hoodie. Yeah, man, there are also so many extra as we're going to throw your way at all the tears, but this is all I'm allowed to promote right now. Why are we here again? Oh Yeah, bonus episode. So, as you know, the show has evolved a lot since its conception and as we evolve, we meet creative decisions that some work, some don't. This bonus, we're turning back the hands of time to give you a look at the way it was, in the way it could have been, before there was a mask, before there was a Lloyd held, before there was a community firepit. This is the episode one that almost was. This is down to folk I hope you like it. Actually, I hope you hate it, then I know we made the right choice changing things up. This episode may contain adult themes. That's how fairy tales and folklore do. At any rate, if you are listening with children, it'll be fine. That's what therapy is for. Welcome to down...

...to folk. In this episode, Ariel will take us to the State of Montana. Montana is located in the northwestern United States. It is boarded by Idaho to the West, North Dakota and South Dakota to the east, Wyoming to the south, and by the Canadian provinces of Alberta, British Columbia and Saskatchewan to the north. It is the fourth largest state by area and the third least densely populated state in the U S. The Western half of Montana contains numerous mountain ranges, while the east and half is characterized by Western prairie, rain and badlands. In all, it contains seventy seven named ranges, all part of the rocky mountains. Commencing main story simulation by aerial cooksie. Back in the before times of the long, long ago, there is a humble farmer who owned a humble farm. He had a humble wife and a humble daughter whom he named frond. Frond was gentle and kind and loved animals of all sorts. She would sing to the horses, who would stamped their hoofs almost dance like. She would coo at the barn cats, who would bring her dead mice and appreciation. She napped with the sheep dog, who would lick her face and nuzzle. She would twirl among the birds, who would chirped their sweet songs and never shat upon her. One day her father came home from market with a new animal to add to the Menagerie, a humble piglet. FROND was delighted. She whisked the pig up out of the cart and whirled him round as he almost seemed to smile, squealing what a precious little fellow. She cried happily. Her father removed his cap and told her, I'm glad you like him. Make sure he feels at all, Ma frond. FROND got the little guy settled into a nice little hay bed...

...in the barn and kissed his head before she headed inside to sleep herself. I'll call you wilmer, she whispered. As the weeks went by, the piglet grew and grew and though not the most impressive pig, he was humble after all. He was certainly sweet and affectionate. Frond was especially partial to him, spending a great deal of lazy afternoons telling Him Stories. But one day her father approached the barn and told frond the following day he was taking the pig to market with him. FROND looked alarmed. Whatever for Papa, she asked, he needs to be butchered so we can sell the meat? He replied no, Papa. She cried, but that was the end of it. No discussion would change his humble mind. Wilmer was distraught. He didn't know what a butcher was, but frond certainly didn't seem happy about it. And then he heard a tiny little voice. Will Wilma over here. The confused pig turned every which way pier silly. There was a small spider hanging from her web. Who, who are you? Wilmur asked. You can call me Charlotte. Charlott he cautiously started. What's butchering? Oh dear, I heard that. It's why they lead you to a place away from the other animals, slit your throat, dismember your body, set it on fire and then eat it. WILMA looked horrified. Oh No, Charlotte, what am I going to do? Charlotte winked. Don't wait, Wilmur, and going to hoop and she crawled back up to her humble web and began to loop and dance. When the rooster crowed and the sun began to rise,...

...there was a web glittering in the light. As the farmer and frond approached, they realized something was written in the web. Papa, does that? Does that say got to bring ASS TO GET HANDS? The farmer swallowed. He didn't like the sound of that. Maybe he began slowly. Maybe to day is not the day to take wilmer to market. We'll try again tomorrow. Wilmer was relieved, but new his time was still limited. But the following morning, as the sun rose. Once again a Web glittered in the light. The farmer approached with Frond, who then asked, Papa, does that? Does that say? Blood in, blood out? The farmer, visibly sweating, began slowly. Maybe, maybe, to day's not the day to take wilmer to market. We'll try again tomorrow. Wilmer was relieved, but still knew he was unborrowed time. But the following morning, in the first rays of Sun, once again a Web glittered in the light. As the farmer and frond approached, they realized something was written in the web. Papa, does that? Does that say? Trust no bitch. But the humble farmer was tired of the roofs. It was just a spider, a spider with a nasty attitude. He loaded wilmer up in his cart and rode away to market, as fron wept on to his little hay bed. When the farmer returned its undown, wilmer was not with him. He's been butchered, he responded when fron asked. Oh, I hate you, I hate you, Oh, hate you until I die. And with that the...

...child fled to the barn where she cried herself to sleep. But charlot was no ordinary spider. She took pity on the girl and decided to teach the farmer a lesson. She crawled to the very top of the barn and sang out in her tinkling voice. And No, are you out there? The precious child's heart is broken, as her best friend's body was turned into meet today. Can you help? The wind began to whip in the skies and the trees rustled. A screech was heard, so terrifying all the animals. Coward charlot remained fearless and didn't move from her high perch. She merely took one of her eight legs and pointed to the farmhouse. In the morning, when the farmer had not shown up to market, neighbors called on the family and found frond asleep on the barn floor. Entering the House and calling out, they found nothing but the skeleton of the humble farmer and his wife lying in what looked like a blood bath. Was the Windigo I reckon, said a slightly less humble farmer. Everyone nodded and shuffled out of the House. They went to find the young frond to tell her she was now an orphan, but the child had disappeared. At least that's what they thought, but I'll tell you what really happened. You See, I was telling the truth when I said Charlo was no ordinary spider. Ordinary spiders don't write words and Webs. After all, she was radioactive and a practicing sorceress spider. That's how she summoned the wind to go and helped frond to escape. She had bitten her, giving her special powers. When the neighbors had entered the barn, she was adhered to the rafters like a spider and they all lived happily ever after. This concludes main story simulation, initiating bedtime mode with Chad broke...

...braid up now, while Ariel's story takes place in the outskirts of Pewte, Montana, the continuation actually happens seventy five miles south in the Gold Rush Mecca of Virginia City, Montana. It was around this time that a young journalist was working at the territorial enterprise, local paper, by the name of Samuel Langhorne clements. Now, Sam was guy had a lot of recognition. He and his brother traveled from Missouri to the West. They did part ways in South Lake City, UTAH. Sam would go north, ultimately ending up in Virginia City. Montana. Is Brother went to Nevada, continued west to Nevada. While Sam was in Virginia City working at the newspaper, he was dabbling in other writing. Not content with being a journalist, he wanted something more from his writing. So he had written a short story, funny story called the celebrated jumping frog of Calaveras County and people just loved this frog story that...

...he had written. And and he would go down the street and everybody's like Hey, frog boy, what's Andy's we got it with the frog already. It was his one regret that he had in life. When the events happened up at up near but Montana, the story made its way down into Virginia City and people came up to him and said Hey, did you hear that crazy story about the winding go up and beat? You should were totally write a story about it. And he's like, we got it with the animals stories and and he he wouldn't even entertain it. He wouldn't even write about it in the paper because he just knew people were going to try and get him to write a story about a spider that writes words in the web, and he just said there's nothing to that. And so he he he sent a telegram to a good friend of his who was due to come out and visit, and it was a good friend of his, elwen, was coming out to visit soon from New York, and and Sam was like, Hey, Elwen, you like writing about animals, come on out here, I got this story that you can write. You can write, you could write a book about it if you feel like it. It's right up your alley. It's got like, you know, a pig talking to a spider writing words and it's web. I don't know, maybe tried out. So Edwin Brooks comes out to Virginia City and he sits down with with Sam and he's like yeah, man, this totally a story. I could totally could do this and like dope, go ahead start writing it. So he goes back to New York and he starts writing and he wrote his version of the story.

He pretty much stripped all of the elements out except for a spider that could write words in his web. But it's cool and Sam just could would not get away from that jumping frog story. So he changed his name changed his name to mark and wrote about little boys and Indians and black people. But it okay. Mark's books were problematic. It's cool. It was a different day and different age. He did okay for himself. Edwin. He did good too. He wrote his little animal book about a talking spider. I don't really I don't know what it was about, but mark, I guess, went on to write a lot of books about young boys and their high chinks and Shenanigan's and then he died catching a ride in the tale of Haley's comment, paving the way for Heaven's gate years later. Mark Twain, author, Legend, cult leader. Good night, everybody. We'll see you next time. Thank you for listening to down to folk. For additional stories and content, visit ail and chat online at DTF STORIESCOM and across all social media at DTF stories. Down to folk is a fabricated collection of factual legends and if you AD DTF, visit the down to folk patreonic Patreoncom DTF stories for exclusive content and special life simulation and events. There you have it. This and much more available now in the down to folk patreon patreoncom slash DT...

F stories. Sign up today. Have a great weekend. See you Wednesday with a brand new episode. By the way, join patreon level two or above. You can hear it right now. And since you stuck around at the and I'll give you a little sneak peak. What happens when you take a little girl or teddy bear and add in an obscene amount of eggplant? Come back April twenty eight and you'll find out you've been listening to a podcast of the pod fix network. Discover more audible gym's like this at pod fix networkcom. Make sure to catch up to the minute networkshanigans by following at pod fix on twitter, official underscore pod fix on Instagram, at pod fix network on Facebook, and make sure to subscribe to pod fix presents. Wherever you choose to find podcasts. The pod fix network artist owned and love.

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